freedom, forgiveness, healing

last night at girls' devo this woman named Rachel spoke a bit about being open and vulnerable. one thing she said really hit me ... confessing to God is enough, but confessing to sisters in Christ gives us freedom, forgiveness, and healing (like confessing to God probably gives us those things too, but you know). and i was thinking ... freedom, forgiveness, and healing are things that make this following Jesus thing worth it! and a blog or two ago i was writing about what makes following Jesus worth it and i was like knowing Jesus. so i don't think it's like pursue freedom and forgiveness and healing instead of knowing God ... i think it's more like those things are part of knowing God

do i know Him as one who gives freedom?
as one who forgives?
as one who heals?
protects?
provides?
accepts?
loves unconditionally?
is full of mercy and grace?
is all wise?
who wants the best for me?
that He's trustworthy?
and worthy of praise?

like do i know about these things ... or do i know them as the character of God my Father which changes the way i live my life daily? and this my friends is when it starts to become a little clearer why this whole following Jesus thing is worth it. oh how little i really know Jesus

This stuff was on the website for the church i plan to attend in Omaha and I got stoked so I thought I would share ...

GOD
God is primary.

GOSPEL
The gospel changes everything.

MISSION
The church exists for mission, not comfort.

CULTURE
The church must engage culture, not avoid it.

SPIRIT
Structure must always submit to Spirit

is knowing God enough?

so here i am at camp ... and it's high school week so there's this speaker named Zane. he's talked a lot about when we have Jesus we don't just have eternal life after death (even though that is quite cool indeed), but we also have life abundant here on earth. this is a topic i've been thinking about for a long time ... but what does life abundant really mean? what am i waiting around for? or searching for? i've thought of it a lot in piper's words ... God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him. but how do we become more and more satisfied in Him? ... and Him alone? a girl in my small group asked us how do we get to a place where we are always trusting in God and never get distant from Him? interesting question ... i think it's easy to fall into that thinking that someday we will wake up and bam! we have arrived at this glorious place where we are so close to God we will never be distant or doubt Him again. sometimes i still think that ... or desire that to be true. but i'm not sure that's how it works. will life as a believer ever be easy? or will it even be natural to love and serve God and be full of joy that we just know Him? where i am right here and right now it seems that it will always be a battle where dependence on Him and getting showered with mercy are necessary. the gospel will always be just as relevant today as it was the day i first believed. so if it doesn't get easier or "better" the question that all too frequently races around my head is ... what's so abundant about this following Jesus thing anyway? what's so great that makes it worth it? and one line that Zane used a ton last night was "is knowing God enough?" because what makes this following Jesus thing abundant? what makes living with Jesus life to the full? the answer Zane argued: knowing God. and maybe why i am wrestling with this so much is because knowing God isn't enough. i walk around trying so desperately to find joy in other things (i hate how sin is so full of pleasure). how ugly is not believing Jesus is enough? and the bummer of it all is i'm not the only one ... check out the OT.

am i depending on my own strength and knowledge ... or is knowing God enough to praise Him and love Him and stand in awe of Him and loose my life for Him and depend on His strength and infinite wisdom?
do i wait until the circumstance i'm in suits my expectations ... or is knowing God enough to trust He has all things under control and does all things for a reason?
do i have to wait until He gives me emotions like joy or love ... or is knowing God enough?
do i need to see Him work through me ... or is knowing Him enough?
do i wait for praise of people ... or is knowing Him enough?
do i have to be healthy ... or is knowing Him enough?
does He have to reveal Himself to me in a certain way .. or is He enough in Himself?

is my desire for joy and happiness and ease deeper than my desire to know Him?

to think that God would be worthy of my life and all praise even if He didn't DO anything ... even if there was no Jesus and no cross ... He would be worthy just because of who He is.

i pray that the truth that God is enough would become so clear that i couldn't deny it ... and that my life would change because i deeply believe that Jesus is way more than enough.

Legalism vs. Belief

lately i've been thinking a lot about what it means to believe something. we throw around the word believe so many times ... but if i think hard about it i rarely believe what i say i belief. i think we can tell what are beliefs are by our actions. like, if i say "i believe praying is good" i don't really believe praying is good until i actually pray. this morning i got up and totally didn't want to read the Bible (happens way too often). i think it's good to do the right thing even if my motives are wrong. perhaps because it's better to do the right thing with the wrong motives instead of doing the wrong thing. but where does legalism come in? am i reading the word because i know it's good (i BELIEVE it's good and healthy for true saints to daily be in the word) ... do i do it because it's my belief or do i do it because "that's what i must do to be a 'good christian'?" so if i miss a day ... my value isn't any less ... but perhaps i'm missing out on blessings God wants to give me. i think about the sermon series on the sermon on the mount that cornerstone did awhile ago ... and it amazed me how many times Jesus would say "it is better for you ..." or He would talk about rewards He desires to give us. so i long to not only read the word, but to have the right motives when reading the word ... and that is my prayer.