vacation part 3

we ate sooo much dessert! it was excellent! this was friday at noon ... just getting started with forced family fun

we ended up just borrowing a fire pit from adam's friend. it worked great. we found out that both my sister in laws loved there marshmallows burnt to a crisp ... i guess they aren't 100% converted to being chipmans yet. but we still love them!

adam borrowed a projector from his church so we projected a movie onto our garage door. aunt pat, grandma, and mom stayed in the car because it was chilly out. we put the subtitles on so they could still follow along without the neighbors hearing it :)

saturday we headed down to brownville, ne to have an hour boat ride on the spirit of brownville. grandma even came with! then we stopped at a winery to taste wine and ate at rick's cafe and boatyard in omaha.

here we are ready to get on a boat ride in the missouri river.

sunday afternoon adam, anne, and i played basketball at the new wellness center. i was a bit rusty at first, but we only lost 8 to 15 (so we had 3 people and the winning team only had 2 but whatever ....)

sunday night grandma, grandpa, and aunt cathy came over to hang out. we ended up in a hopping game of tripoly.

vacation part 2

out with the treehouse, in with a fire pit

this is my dad in the tractor and my bro assisting

our treehouse was pretty unsafe due to rotting wood and all so it needed to be taken down anyway.... so tuesday was the day

once upon a time it had a sandbox underneath, but now it's pretty much a weed box. we'll be making a fire there tomorrow night and roasting hot dogs and marshmallows :)

we'll see how it works ... last night while it was pouring i was wondering if we might be eating, watching a movie, and sleeping inside instead of out ... oh well it will still be fun

vacation part 1

yeah for vacation!!

my college roomie had her first baby just in time for me to see him before i left ames. his name is Elijah Joel and I'm stoked to get to know him more as he grows! i'm exited to see Bjo and Curtis learn how to parent!

cute little man

Amy and I went to the zoo. we could tell that it was a monday during the school year since it was us and a ton of people under the age of 5. the animals were way more active than normal which was pretty sweet ... maybe they were exited for smaller crowds-we were.

this is a lemur in a new Madagascar exhibit. you walk in and they can run everywhere (hence the clean you hands sign). it was fun ... they said one of the lemurs escaped a few weeks ago.

Amy and a shark!

The jungle

the gorillas were sooo much fun. i could have watched them all day. one was splashing in the water, another would have knocked a few of my teeth out (or my head off) if there wasn't glass between us, and another spent the whole time we were watching him trying to get something out of his teeth.

let's just say it took us a long time for us to take a pic of ourselves with the giraffes in the background ... but mission accomplished.

cute little 2 month old tiger!

more pics to come .... enjoy!

Staycation

my family was throwing around some thoughts of going on a little vacation to a lake for labor day weekend ... but after thinking about it we decided that we could have just as much fun hanging out at the farm. we wouldn't have to split up like when the gals want to shop and the guys don't etc, and we could get by a bit cheaper since we wouldn't have to pay for housing (that was before the idea of t-shirts and our own personalized bags including all the supplies needed like sunscreen, bug repellent, frisbees, snacks, and whatever else we need for a fun time at the farm ... so we'll see what actually happens and if we actually save money or not). my dad was planning on tearing down our old tree house anyway so we decided to take it out and make the sandbox under it a fire pit. We also have a great place for camping ... so we'll see it might just me dad and me outside in a tent and the rest in the house (otherwise known as the "lodge"). so far i took pictures around the farm, made a brochure, and schedule of activities (including bonfires, grilling, lessons with grandma to make homemade cinnamon bread, frisbee golf, and lots of hanging out. it should be fun ... my parents and i were having fun anyway!

this is one sleeping option...

and here is another ... our windbreak makes a great campsite for tenting

my parents were pretty excited to get in on the cheesy pics!

our "treehouse" (no really in a tree, but that's what we call it) is soon to be transformed into a fire pit

it should be fun ... just hanging out with my parents, bros, sis-in-laws, aunts, and grandparents for a long weekend. it's official title is Forced Family Fun at the Chipman Family Dude Farm.

they're not perfect, but my heart is still involved

after a lot of thought and prayer i have decided to go back to cornerstone church. as i think about some of the reasons for leaving cornerstone in the first place 6 or so months ago i still think i will wrestle with some of them, but as i jumped into harvest i was challenged with truth that since we live in a fallen world there will be no perfect church... no matter how high my expectations are. this truth makes it hard for me not to be committed to the church that has invested in me for 5 years and where i have grown to be more attached than i once thought. where there was once bitterness and anger, there is now a longing to be involved and be praying for them and the leadership there. just because something is hard shouldn't mean i should just ditch it. i remember blogging about how i didn't want to be one of those stats of churches gaining numbers simply because people who already go to church change churches. i remember thinking that each one of those stats has a person behind it, a face, a story ... and this is mine. maybe there are times to leave, but there are times to stay as well. in both churches there are good and bad things ... the result of a place that loves Jesus, but is full of sinners. so why move from one dysfunctional family to the next? that is what i've been wrestling with and what has brought me to the decision to go back to cornerstone. part of me regrets the decision i made to leave cornerstone and go to harvest, but without jumping in with both feet to a different church how was i to learn valuable lessons of commitment and that there's no perfect church and that jumping around seeking satisfaction instead of digging deep in the problem and being part of the solution perhaps isn't the best solution? maybe it's less about finding the perfect church and more about jumping in and being the church. so if in the future while i'm still in ames i start thinking about leaving cornerstone ... you should call me up and make me sit down and think long and hard about it. not because they have it all together, but because they're my family ... and jesus is present there. if He has grace for them, how can i not?

family

so as many of my friends know i have this craving for community or family within my local church. i think the gospel births this longing, but when i went home this weekend a few of the dots were connected as i was reminded of the way i grew up in my family.

friday night ....

i picked liz up to go home with me since she had no where to go for the 4th of july

drove home (with a few detours to get across the flooded river)

finally got home

grilled, chatted, ate

our neighbor/employee borrowed our van for vacation in MN since their van broke down (and they had been working in our shop all evening)

saturday ...

got up

ran

chatted with my bro between chores

breakfast at the local coffee shop with liz, mom, and dad (where we chatted with the owner of the coffee shop, the mail man, a classmate from high school)

went to a shop and tasted lots of wine and chatted with the 8 people who own/hang out there

stopped by grandma's house to chat

hung out with my mom as she cooked lots of stuff for the festivities the next day

helped dad with some training directions for the farrowing house for a new employee

looked out the window to see small children playing on our swing set

mom and dad left for a class reunion ... so liz and i grabbed some chicken and an avocado for supper, made supper, ate supper, and watched live free or die hard

sunday ....

mom, dad, liz, and i drove to omaha to go to the church i went to when i lived there (and stopped by my aunt's house on the way there)

we ate brunch in the old market

went to my relatives house for a 40th anniversary party ... helped set up for it, chatted on the deck, took a walk around the lake, hung out with relatives i knew, met new relatives, included liz in the family pic, played frisbee with some little girls, my dad, and a pastor relative that we chatted about church planting with, packed up food to take home

watched fireworks

drove home (slept all the way home)

monday ...

woke up, ate, chatted with dad and my bro about farming stuff, chatted with mom about life and friends and facebook

helped mom make brownies for a church something something

got in on a phone call from the local feed supply place in harlan that ran short on soybean meal so asked if they could use ours and replace it tomorrow when it's not a holiday ... dad said sure

ate 1/2 a brownie ... so the pan went in with one missing

grilled, ate, thought about leaving but ....

planned a labor day family staycation instead

was going to leave around 1 but ...

my dad's cousin and his mom and granddaughter (who keeps her show sheep at our house) brought out cinnamon rolls that the granddaughter made to practice for fair ... which we had to stop everything, chat, and eat some!!

then we stopped by grandma again to chat, ended up with some brownies to take home

then we were ... on the road again

all in all a great family time!

it's already done

i've felt there's been a lack of rest in my life lately. i'm just restless. like it's not like i'm not sleeping 8 hours/night or resting on the weekends ... biking and taking long walks, listening to sermons and having fun ... but there's still something that's missing. like soul rest or something. it goes deeper than just not going to work.

unfortunately i'm the kind of person who ...

walks out of work and never got enough done... maybe i should stay late or come early

thinks i can do a ton of stuff and i must do a ton of stuff to grow

gets nervous that in the future i just might fall off the edge and stop growing

is never satisfied, always on a mission, and never does enough

in the past day or two it's really sinking in that ya there's a lot of change to be made in my life, but all that needs to be done to make those changes happen is already done. i can't do anything to make God love me more ... or less than he already does. to grow more or less. IT IS FINISHED. Jesus died on the cross and now i have his righteousness and not my own. he saved me and he will sanctify me in the same way... by grace. Jesus plus nothing. fruit is gradual, inevitable, organic for those who have the spirit. he is in control and not me. he wants my good more than i do ... and he has the power to do it.

cease striving!

the greatest thing is knowing and believing and living in the truth that i have nothing to prove. freedom! joy! rest. soul rest. (and how great is it that he is going to grow me in this area! cuz that's just how great our God it)

perfection

perfection ... is a word i wrestle with and come back to over and over again. God wants total obedience in every commandment with all my heart, soul, mind, actions, emotions, words, ... and yet romans 3 says we all fall short. so maybe the end goal is still total obedience ... but the means is different than trying harder ... maybe it's having our hearts be transformed and become the kind of person who actually obeys from the heart. (http://www.cdomaha.com/resources_list.php?catid=2)

or maybe it's that perfection isn't absolute http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/2005/1307_Imperfect_Love_Fulfills_the_Law_and_Pleases_the_PerfectionDemanding_God/ AND http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/TasteAndSee/ByDate/1995/4282_Doing_Well_and_Doing_Better/ )

i'm just not sure ... because i'm supposed to have grace and love and hope for change under the gospel (i mean Jesus didn't die for nothing) ... and i guess i have grace and love and hope for change when i fail at having grace for myself or when i respond poorly to my mistakes or when i beat myself up for what i've done wrong. sometimes i think it would just be better if i got it right the first time. but since i know it won't be that way i wish i could be okay with me making mistakes .... and i wish i could realize that that's just how life goes. it just always boggles my mind. i get so dissatisfied with certain things i do or how i respond in situations ... but at this rate will i ever be satisfied? is it good and right to be satisfied with where i'm at and who i am becoming? we are still supposed to kill sin and be distinct from the world. why have divorce rates be the same inside the church as outside? why are nonbelievers often more open and honest? oh the double edged sword of dissatisfaction!

any thoughts ...

i found this interesting ...

If it ain't broke, don't fix it... but if it is - FIX IT!

Albert Einstein once said, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results."

this is a blog about youth groups ... i thought it was interesting so i wanted to share it with you all ...

http://keithwatson.blogspot.com/2010/04/culture-of-youth-groups-and-church_20.html

are we really gospel centered?

just walked out of church ... feeling condemned and on the verge of tears once again. for the most part it was a good sermon. a sermon about how the discussion about homosexuality is essential, explosive, and complicated. most christians are labeled haters of homosexuals, judgement, or hypocritical ... not something that reflects Jesus' heart at all. we discussed that one purpose of sex is that it would point to God but because of sin everything is all messed up and often sex doesn't point to God in our culture. sooner or later the worst thing could happen ... He could let us have our way in our love for sin. so what does Jesus' church have to offer all who struggle with homosexuality or anything sexual really (which is probably all people on this planet)? one sexual sin isn't any worse than any other ... it just manifests itself in different ways.

what Jesus offers ....

1. love

2. grace

3. community

4. hope for healing and change

5. self denial (denying some of our urges and desires knowing that God always has the best in mind for us)

and the question that still puzzles me is why did i walk out feeling condemned when i don't struggle with homosexual attraction and why do i feel condemned when there is no condemnation in christ Jesus? why did i walk out swimming in romans 7 without reaching romans 8? if one sin isn't any worse than any other do we have grace and love and hope for healing and change for the critical, judgmental, hypocritical, homosexual hater? or should we condemn them instead of homosexuals? i feel like my heart is so evil ... black and wicked! i feel like i haven't really done the greatest job loving people who have sin that is different than mine (or really just loving people at all)... is there grace and love and hope for change for me? if Jesus offers grace and love and hope to the homosexual he will also offer it to:

the person i have a hard time loving

me when i have a hard time loving that person

the churches that aren't so gospel centered

me when i my heart is angry at those churches

there is love and grace and hope for change because by God's grace our black wicked ugly sinful hearts can be transformed and made new! i pray that the gospel would be on the tip of our tongues, the forefront of our minds, and the depths of our hearts. and i pray that the love and grace and hope for change would create worship. such a beautiful thing ... how do we think we can survive without it? make us gospel centered God!

my parents, a bar, and rugby

background ....

my brother is one of those people who likes to research new and different restaurants. if he picks the place to eat you never know what you are going to get ... if i pick ... welp it's one of three choices that we've all eaten at a million times. awhile ago he took my parents to a german restaurant in downtown des moines for lunch.

how i got to a bar ...

my parents gave me a call and wondered if i wanted to join them in des moines sat night. they were planning to go out to eat with two other couples who had been family friends for a long time ... one had moved away and the other was still in harlan. that sounded fun so i agreed. i was planning to go home friday and come back to ames sat night which would have me go straight though des moines anyway.

the reason we are all hoarse ...

we ended up going to the same german restaurant they had been to once before. it's called the hessen haus .... central iowa's only authentic german beer hall. we get there at 6:30 and find the only open table ... right under the loudest speaker in the place. it was pretty funny but we found ourselves yelling the whole night and cracking jokes about why the old people have to sit under the loudest speaker in the place.

conversations in the bathroom ...

they are famous for this huge boot shaped mug of beer. when my dad went to the bathroom he came back with a story of all the young guys in the bathroom were trying to get him to take the boot drinking challenge .... he simply said he was too old. i think one beer was enough for my dad since he probably drinks 2 a year (it is only feb).

well then i went to the bathroom (it's probably 8:30-9:00 by now)... and you have to walk the whole length of the restaurant to get there. when i came out of the stall i started washing my hands and this woman who was in her upper 20s kept staring at me and didn't go into the open stall i had just vacated. seemed a bit odd, but just keep washing your hands and then get out no prob. she looked at me and said "i actually came in here to talk to you." i'm in trouble now. what did i do? she pulls out a business card and said she was from the des moines women's rugby team and they saw me walk by and thought i would be good at running and hitting people. i asked a few questions and she took me out to meet the captain or something who when she saw me she said "that's our girl!" they asked me to hang out, but i said my party was probably about ready to leave (little did i know we were going to be there another hour).

so i made it back to the old people's table by the door and shared my story ... the guys decided i needed to bulk up (like 120 pounds which i thought would just be flabby not bulky) and the women thought it would have been super funny if i would have went to the bathroom with my mom or if the rugby girls would leave and see me sitting at a table with my parents and their friends and perhaps they would rethink their decision to invite me to play. it was interesting ... if it was in ames instead of des moines i think i would actually think about it.

all in all we had a blast. we all agreed 1. it was a bit quieter in that place when my bro took them there at noon 2. we should do this more often (and i reminded them not to forget the young one when they planned the next outing) 3. none of us had laughed that much in quite some time and we were due for a good laugh

another big decision

so it's official. i decided to switch churches. i can't decide if it was as hard of a decision as quitting my job in omaha and moving back to ames or not, but it sure makes it to the top of the list of hard decisions in my life. and perhaps making the decision won't be as hard as living with the decision that i made in the months to come... but i made it and that's that. i never wanted to be a statistic of those churches that gain new members simply by having people move back and forth between churches instead of having new people come to know and love Jesus, but i guess that statistic is deeper than i once thought. there's a why behind each of those people perhaps. the fear is still i don't really know if it will be better in this church than in the last. but i do know that something's gotta change. i just can't do it anymore. after being involved in this church for most of 5 years and wrestling with it for 2 perhaps enough is enough. God used it to teach me a lot over the years ... it gave me a solid foundation of the theology of the gospel and the biblical basis for mission it connected me with stellar people that i am so grateful for still am to this day!! it challenged me to be baptized sent me overseas gave me opportunities to lead bible studies of college gals there are many reasons to leave ... and perhaps many to stay. so i'm in need of prayer. more so now than perhaps ever before (or at least i am realizing my need now more than ever before). ask questions if you like... there's been lots of tears shed and wrestling with thoughts and emotions for what seems like a very long time.

true spirituality

good quotes from francis schaeffer's true spirituality ...

"the important thing about being born spiritually is to live"

"we do not come to true spirituality or the true christian life merely by keeping a list, but neither do we come to it merely by rejecting the list and then shrugging our shoulders and living a looser life"

"love is internal, not external. there can be external manifestations, but love itself will always be an internal factor"

"...desire becomes sin when it fails to include love of God or men. ... I am to love God enough to be contented; second i am to love men enough not to envy"

"contented and yet fighting evil" (wow challenging!)

"if the contentment goes and the giving of thanks goes, we are not loving God as we should, and proper desire has become coveting against God. This inward area is the first place of loss of true spirituality. the outward is always just a result of it"

"our death by choice in the present life ... is the saying no to self when our natural selves would desire acceptance by the alien world- a world in revolt against its creator and our lord"

" ... forgetting the fall is the fall" (yep ... i often forget that we live in a fallen world until Jesus returns... and that just complicates life)

"we wait for the resurrection of the body. we wait for the perfect application of the finished work of christ of the whole man. we wait for this, but on this side of the fall, and before christ comes, we must not insist on 'perfection or nothing' or we will end with nothing"

"prayer is always to be seen as a person-to-person communication, not merely a devotional exercise. indeed, when prayer becomes only a devotional exercise, it is no longer biblical prayer"

"the command is to love him, not just think about him, or do things for him. we are not to stop with a proper legal relationship-for example, to think of a man as legally lost, which he is, in the sight of a holy God-without thinking of him as a person. saying this, we can suddenly see that much evangelism is not only sub-christian, but subhuman-legalistic and impersonal."

"it is not wrong to be right, but it is wrong to have the wrong attitude in being right"

"my relationship with my fellowmen must always be personal. if i really love a man as i love myself, i will long to see him be what he could be on the basis of christ's work, for that is what i want or what i should want for myself on the basis of christ's work"

"christianity is not to love in abstraction, but to love the individual who stands before me in a person-to-person relationship. he must never be faceless to me or i am denying everything i say i believe. this concept will always involve some cost. it is not a cheap thing, because we live in a fallen world, and we ourselves are fallen"

"but for the christian, who does not need to have everything in human relationships, human relationships can be beautiful"

"the church is not a body that thinks up ideas; the church is a declarative statement of what God has revealed concerning himself in the scripture. ... the church should represent the supernaturally restored human race in reality"

"yes, faith can be taught, but only by exhibition"

"methods are as important as its message"

"there is no use talking of these things abstractly, without bringing them down to the real place where the battles are fought"

"we are commanded not only to meet together, but to help each other."

well perhaps i got carried away but there's so many more good quotes in this book. one that has really been hitting home for me is if i am insisting on perfection or nothing i will get nothing. wow. i recommend it whole heartedly. the moment i got done reading it i started it again ...