nothing to prove

funny thing about home ... the "extra introvert" seems to be not so introverted after all. my parents had a meeting and i just had a couple hours to chill ... by myself ... what do i do? i don't really remember this being such a problem in the past, but lately it has been. i'm seeing how i don't make decisions on my own ... but i'm learning a lot about just living and being who i really am. i remember going to a retreat once when the speaker repeated over and over again ... "the biggest freedom is knowing you have nothing to prove." perhaps i'm on a slow journey of finding that freedom ... and learning i can just be me. God created me to be Amanda Lynn Chipman for a reason and He uses all things ... every detail ... in my life to shape and mold me and transform me to be more like His son. i have nothing to prove.

another interesting thought of the day ... i was watering some plants with a milk jug and it hit me that if i wanted to i could drink this ... and really the 4-5 gallons i used would quench my thirst for a long time ... but some people can't. people in china and myanmar and tons of other countries can't. i just dumped it out on some plants to make the yard look pretty or something ... but they need it for survival. funny how things that seem so old hat can all at once hit me in a new way.

Here we go ...

today i started packing ... and it makes me think about all God has done in my life the last four years i've been at ISU. it hasn't quite hit me i'm graduating yet, but perhaps that will come. i feel like a totally different person than i was when i moved into Eaton as a scared little freshman. i guess that's what's meant by becoming a new creation and being transformed into the likeness of Christ. sanctification ... that's definitely the most valuable thing i've gained from college ... a more accurate view of Christ and by His grace, being molded to be more like Him.

so happens as if i'm not so good at this blogging thing yet ... perhaps it will come with practice ... i gotta start somewhere huh? well, if you have any ideas of how to get a double loft apart and to Nevada, let me know :)