Thursday, November 12, 2009

strengths finder

so awhile ago i took a test on line called Strengths Finders 2.0. it talks about how we have strengths and weakness and lots of times people focus on improving their weaknesses... but it also talks about how cool it is if we actually focus on sharpening our strengths instead of using all our time and energy on always fixing all our weaknesses. we have strengths for a reason ... let's find them and use them ... (kinda like spiritual gifts in the body of Christ).

it was interesting and today was a day i saw my strengths be used at work. it was one of those days were i was in the office trying to organize my brain and office, analyze and compile data for multiple experiments, schedule work for an undergrad, having the computer guy try to get my lost Quicken data from the last 4 months back, and run one last titanium dioxide assay in the lab ... with tasting 7 different cured ham samples from the meat lab in the middle ... what a day. but the thing that led me to think about my strengths is that i wasn't totally exhausted after working 8-5 and having lunch at my desk while continuing to stare at my computer. i was energized... enough to go run a couple miles at the fitness center as soon as i got off work... how can that be?? there are 5 strengths that the test gives but i'll just list the ones that were in full swing today. oh so fun.

RESTORATIVE
You like to solve problems. Whereas some are dismayed when they encounter yet another breakdown, you can be energized by it. You enjoy the challenge of analyzing the symptoms, identifying what is wrong, and finding the solution.

Driven by your talents, you automatically set out to do things right. As a result, you usually invent better ways to tackle assignments, studies, or chores. You are apt to make small yet necessary upgrades to enhance the efficiency and overall performance of various processes or individuals. Chances are good that you enjoy listening to public speakers. You are attracted to those who inspire you to think about what you can do better either personally or professionally. By nature, you typically are an eager and willing student. You genuinely derive satisfaction from examining new sources of information. You often arrive at conclusions about how to make certain things better. It’s very likely that you search for opportunities to improve yourself. You are determined to confront your weak points and correct them. Because of your strengths, you routinely set aside about five hours of quiet time each week to think. You make a point to pause and consider things you need to do better. You typically figure out how to update and streamline various processes, tasks, ideas, or activities.


ACHIEVER

Because of your strengths, you often spend considerable time examining the details underpinning an idea. Rather than rush through your research, you typically stick with it until you are convinced everything makes sense. It’s very likely that you expend much mental energy making sense of events, identifying problems, and/or creating solutions. You likely sort through a lot of information to pinpoint essential facts. You probably rely on reason to arrive at sound conclusions or to make correct decisions. Driven by your talents, you concentrate for extended periods of time. This is one reason why you ultimately master skills and grasp concepts.


It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

sad but true

i was journaling last night. it was good. lately it hasn't been good, but it was good. perhaps because God will teach when you listen. unfortunately it doesn't happen often. not because He doesn't want to teach either. so i just started journaling about community and cornerstone and how i feel ... at first it was a lot of frustration at their lack of developing communities that are gospel centered and missional ... and then i was like ... did they really feed my legalism? my performance driven self? my duty instead of delight? my try harder instead of hope more? do i really blame cornerstone instead of my sinful nature? do i see myself at fault at all ... or am i just a victim? it's sad but true, but i often do blame them ... which (what's worse is) is actually somewhat blaming God. oh the ugliness of my heart!

did cornerstone not provide me with relationships and theological training for the past 5 years? and were they not used by God in my life as He transformed my heart? how could i be angry at them? it's true it's not good to worship cornerstone, but it's not good to blame them either. they are trying to seek Him. of course it's not perfect. it's a bunch of humans. are we waging the same war and i'm forgetting they are on my side? should i just fall in love with cornerstone now? no, but that's not the goal. i should fall in love with God. God can use cornerstone as a means ... even if it looks different than my box/formula of perfect.

the truth is He's in control and not me.

God has used crazy things in the past to sanctify my heart and He promises to carry me to completion. amen, huh?

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

woot woot for pics

http://www.flickr.com/photos/amandachipman/

small togetherness

there's something missing. something i still long for. and often have longed for ... deep, gospel centered, God focused community

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByTopic/58/310_Alone_in_a_Big_Church/

"And I've never lost my longing for deep, substantial relationships." -Piper


Sunday, November 1, 2009

3 has become 5






It's super fun to get all the fam together. Here's my two brothers and their wives.

Jerad, Katrina, me, Adam, Anne

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

for all you nerds who want to know more about my job ...

this article tells about the cool people i get to work with every day http://www.extension.iastate.edu/news/2009/oct/151601.htm

stuff at work is picking up ... Nestor's project just started today with 12 surgeries and Cassie's starts in two weeks. here we go ...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

ok again ...

so me and computers ... do i have to say anything else ... here's the link

http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/Sermons/ByDate/1987/599_The_Anatomy_of_Backsliding/

Anatomy of Backsliding

i was wandering around desiringgod.org and ran across something that was encouraging at my current stage of life ...

Sunday, October 4, 2009

missional community

so lately i've been wrestling so much with what's the purpose of the church and of a small group and of a saturday night service. what's biblical and what are my expectations? and where do those two things align and where do they not? because of my confusion i thought i would look to someone else for some help ... coram deo church that i went to in omaha gave me some insight that i thought i would share. i found some of it super interesting because it shows that if my expectations are wrong then of course i will be frustrated or disappointed or confused.

it's still far from being applied to my daily life, but here's their thoughts on missional communities ....

what is an MC (missional community)?
it's not a bible study
it's not a fellowship group
it's not a support group
it's not an activist group
it has elements of all of the above, but it's not just one of these
a MC is a group of people seeking to live in light of the gospel; experiencing and expressing the gospel; pursuing God together; believers and nonbelievers

what are we trying to accomplish in MC?
create a context for gospel formation, ministry, and mission
they used the illustration of a plant and how we can't make it grow but we can try to put it in an environment to encourage growth. it's the same with a person ... God is the only one that can make a person spiritually grow, but the MC can help shape the environment to be a place where growth can more easily occur

what kills MC?
1. wrong expectations
2. passivity ... not taking responsibility for your role in MC ... serve, love, contribute
3. pride ... judging people, defending self, thinking i have it all figured out

what gives a MC life?
taking responsibility for others in the group
transitioning from functional to formative
7 indicators of a healthy MC ....

LISTENING
• Lots of people can talk, not many are skilled at listening. If people are listening well, the following indicators will come much more naturally.
• Do you find yourself easily distracted, thinking about other things, or pondering what you are going to say next?

SPIRITUAL INQUIRY
• Put simply, this is following up, digging in, and inquiring into how people are doing spiritually.
• Does the way that you respond to people draw them out and encourage deeper conversation?

ENCOURAGEMENT
• If you see that someone handled a situation in a spiritually mature way, make note of that by encouraging him or her. If you see that someone is taking a step of faith in a new area of their life, encourage them with words of affirmation.
• Do people feel encouraged by you during a Missional Community discussion?

PRAYER
• One of the ways to model the Gospel to Christians and non-Christians is by revealing your dependence upon God and the unique relationship you have with God as your heavenly dad.
• Do you stop in the middle of your MC discussion to pray for what is being shared?

CHALLENGE/REBUKE
• Speaking truth in love while confronting others with a spirit of humility, calling them to turn from sin and trust in the finished work of Christ.
• Is your Missional Community tolerating unrepentant sin?

STUDY SCRIPTURE
• 2 Tim. 3:16-17 “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work.”
• Do you talk about the Bible naturally in the context of conversation?

GOSPELIZE
• Helping each other apply the good news of Jesus and the work that was accomplished on the cross. The Gospel is for Christians and non-Christians alike and is a message that you will never outgrow or mature out of.
• When someone asks for insight or counsel, do you respond with good advice or good news?



Wednesday, March 25, 2009

God's faithfulness

so a sermon on lamentations 2 from bob thune...

God is so faithful to his covenants which is sometimes good for us and other times bad for us. we too often mistake God's faithfulness for God being on our side and always working for us... but really he wouldn't be God if he did that. sometimes he works against even his own people ... check out lamentations 2. he doesn't make idol threats, but instead gives out both blessings and curses according to what he promises in his covenants. if we don't obey ... there will be consequences. sometimes i think that believers nowaday think it's only non believers who will face the horrid curses for their sins and they should all repent for those ... but in reality when we don't repent, he is faithful to work against us. the whole sowing and reaping stuff ... if we sow disobedience and sin how can we expect to reap blessing? if we sow laziness how can we expect spiritual maturity? but we do!! how does that happen!!

because God is faithful we need to fear him. let's worship God for his faithfulness in the midst of lamenting over the sin in us, around us, and towards us ... let's worship him because ITS GOOD NEWS THAT HE IS FAITHFUL... he even worked against his own perfect son because he is faithful towards his covenants

oh that we would have a right view of God

at least we aren't to the end of the book of lamentations yet :) ... as we read in ch 2 about the writer begging for mercy. ... he is also faithful in his mercy!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

it's all about the heart

seems as if it has been quite some time since i blogged aye? (i'm beginning to like the use of the word aye...perhaps it's because my boss is canadian and no matter how hard he tries not to use it, it still slips out every now and then). the past few weeks have pretty much been eat, sleep, and work ... hence the no blog post since feb 6th. from march 3rd to march 18th i jumped into our first experiment with baby pigs. i fed them twice a day and did some other researchy things ...ask if you want more details :). other than eat, sleep, and work, last week i got in my first frizbee playing of the year ... super fun and yes, i too am stoked about the warm weather!

last night i got to have supper with my boss, a future phd student, the head of the animal science department and his wife, and another prof and his wife. it was really good actually. i was a bit nervous going in, but i was actually comfortable with just being myself. i didn't talk much, but that's me. i took off my shoes and no one else did, i didn't drink alcohol and most did ... but walked out of there 1. not embarrased to be me at all and not caring what they thought at all ... and 2. i felt pain for the brokenness of a fallen world and the effects that sin has on people ... and 3. they talked about global stuff and traveling for reasons the world would travel, but when they talk of india or china my heart was affected .... moved ... stirred. it's interesting to feel pain and to be affected by things i used to not be affected by but longed to be affected by. i rarely get affected at a heart level when people talk about missions ... but when these people talked about people overseas and when i got to see in the lives of these americans here ... something happened in my heart. i could walk out of that place praising God because i can see evidence of Him graciously taking bits of my heart of stone and making it a heart of flesh. it was a good night ... my boss even asked me to pray before the meal. i thought it was funny because his intial question was started with since you like public speaking and you go to church ...would you mind saying grace? it's funny because praying isn't really public speaking and going to church doesn't seem to mean a whole lot these days, but you know ....

i beg God that they would see me as more than a girl who goes to church or a nice girl who does good churchy things or works hard or doesn't drink as often as "i should"... but instead i would live a God glorifying life ... a life that's different and distinct from the world. a life that's real and not worried about appearance ... and all that other God glorifying stuff :)

my boss had me read the bestseller business book called who moved my cheese.... i guess i missed blogging about that, but perhaps someday he'll ask me what i thought about it

Friday, February 6, 2009

body or mind?

lately work has made me think about whether it is better to beat my body or beat my mind. seems perhaps like a crazy thought ... and maybe stretching both body and mind are good ... but i am reminded of working at the udcc (dining service) and also working in a kitchen at camp and how i was physically exhausted when i was done. but i enjoyed it. it felt good. in omaha at mcd, and now here at isu i have found myself in jobs that are mentally draining. not as if it's good or bad, i'm just experiencing a different kind of ehaustion than i'm used to. sometimes 8 hours flies by ... and other times it seems to take forever.

so working in an academic setting is beating my poor little brain . . .

Monday, February 2, 2009

football

oh i forgot to say i really enjoyed the superbowl and i think i freaked out my parents and bro's in-laws because i yelled so loud a few times. i used to not allow myself to enjoy football very much because it didn't fit into the christian bubble very well. but hey, i enjoy it and it's ok!

what does it look like to be a Christ follower today?

so as i fumble around in this new stage of life i often wonder what in the world it's supposed to look like to be a gospel centered christian in ames, ia in 2009 working at isu. ever since a little over a year ago i feel like everything in my heart and head was ripped out and thrown into a game of 52 card pick up... leaving me confused as i pick up the pieces and sort through everything i have known and believed for so long...somethings i learned from the inside out (by God's transformational grace) and others from the outside in (by trying really hard to clean myself of sin from the outside-ps doesn't work).

another lesson from a bob thune sermon ... not like he's God, but God speaks to me through him in a cool way ... convicting and yet encouraging. it was a sermon that asked the question what went wrong with christianity? instead of living like a real biblical follower of Christ ... christians have tried to christanize this culture. make them have good morals or something. and what do we do? we either slip into a christian bubble with our christian music and movies and friends ... or we hang out and live life so no one can see there is a difference between someone of the world or someone belonging to the kingdom of God. what happened?? somewhere along the line we all forgot the gospel... the repentance from sin that's needed and the power He gives to enable us to change.

what do i need to repent of? what do i need power to change?

how can i be distinct, but not disconnected?

it's interesting to think about this stuff now ... i think God's been trying to teach me this and He put it into words tonight as i ran and listened to a sermon. the past few weeks i have been so conflicted about what i'm doing in a job that seems to have little eternal significance? how can this job seem to fit so well? how can it be so clear that this job was given to be by God? how is it possible that God would want me here researching about baby pigs instead of loving and serving homeless people in downtown omaha? and it just became a tiny bit clearer that i need a little help getting out of a christian bubble ... because i can't seem to get myself out of it alone ... and that's not the way it's intended to be. oh the grace and mercy of God is so sweet and gospel so beautiful!

Friday, January 30, 2009

"by your side" -tenth avenue north

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

(Chorus 2x)




woot woot aye?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

faith

been thinking about faith lately ... and how small mine really is. i listened to this sermon the other day which described faith as banking on the promises of God. ... like really trusting in them to the point that my actions and decisions declare them to be true. as i stumble around in what seems like transition after transition, sometimes i feel like this isn't how it was supposed to ... or why does He give and then take away ... or am i really in the right place ... or what's the future hold for me. seems so silly because if i trust He is who He is there wouldn't be anxiety or bitterness or fear or anger.

He loves me
He is good
He works all things for the good of those who love Him
He started sanctifying me and He won't stop-and how great is it that He transforms every part ... even the very depths of my heart and emotions
He is in control and can see the whole picture instead of the tiny part i can see
i dont have to have it all figured out ... and it will still be ok
He has the desire and the power to make things work out for His glory ... even if it's not the way i think He is most glorified
He provides all i need ... even relationally
and the list goes on .........

oh that He would increase my faith

Friday, January 23, 2009

a job or beyond

i got to go to a seminar today at work ... evidently every friday from 4-5 there's a seminar for anyone in the animal science department. i was surrounded by professors and grad students listening to this prof about a genetic line of hogs that are more feed efficient than most. it made me think a lot about what i want from ... this job has a lot of potential if i want it. it could just be a job or it could lead into grad school and beyond. perhaps i don't need to know now but it all makes me wonder ...

what do i want?
what does God think about the word success?
why would i want to go above and beyond?
do i want to make a name for myself?
is it something i will enjoy?
what does it mean to glorify God at work?
does this have eternal significance?
perhaps it's not so black and white ... so what does that look like?

i guess it's good that i don't have to have it all figured out ... but sometimes i'd like to.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

healthy community

for the first time in awhile i actually have the desire to be in deep, intimate relationships again. beautiful! ever since i saw some of my college friends over christmas break (and perhaps ever since i graduated in may) i have been in a mood that makes me want to lock myself in my room and hope that somehow time would reverse and all would be the same as it was in college. in the back of my mind i was like ... perhaps i should hang out with people because it can't be good to live without people ... but i couldn't really convince myself why i would want to hang out with people and have them try to fill the void of my old community. i listened to this sermon on healthy community and God used it to change my thinking a bit ... not that it won't be hard to continue transitioning out of college and into this next phase of life, but it was encouraging and convicting all at the same time. ... i love it when that happens.

if you want to listen to it it's called "healthy community" at http://www.cdomaha.com/resources_list.php?catid=mostrecent. (oh and under the category "The God Who Is" the one about Free Will is one of my favorites).

the sermon points out two unhealthy places we can be in with community ... 1. we are not responsible at all for our own sins because the community around us is responsible 2. we are not to help bear the burdens of others at all. unfortunately i am familiar with both places.

it's not just nice to live together in community, it's part of the gospel to live in community. the gospel shapes a community where we are all individually responsible for our own sin, but we are also to be interacting at a level where we know what is really going on in the lives of others and we are in a journey with to gently walk through sin with each other. we are all in the same boat and it's sinking fast. it's sad but true that we fall into comparision instead of realizing that we all have sin but it just manifests itself differently in different people. the sermon mentioned how comparision kills community ... instead of remembering how we need to remember that we are all in deep need of Jesus and all that i have and am is a gift from God. comparing myself to Jesus is good ... and to others is bad. :)

i think it makes me excited to step out of the closet and into community (even if it looks different and isn't with the same people as it has been in the past) because that's the way it's intended by God to be. that's how He transforms us ... into healthy community. healthy community is what the gospel creates!

check out the life of Jesus too!! ... Jesus bore my burden on the cross and He bore His own load by living in full obedience to God!

hopefully people hear the gospel proclaimed AND see it played out in community.

i think life is so much more about Him transforming our hearts to be who we are intended to be instead of us trying really hard to become what we were intended to be. oh the beauty of the gospel! All glory to God

Monday, January 5, 2009

job hunting part 3

well ... i got a long awaited call this morning for a job offer. i start working at ISU Jan 12th. it was pretty certian i had the job, but now that i have it ... the crazy emotions were given permission to come out.

let the adventure continue ......

Sunday, January 4, 2009

deep longings of my soul

it's been an interesting few days. i've had some deep longings that have actually brought me to a place of many tears and of great joy. joy is something that i have desired and with much energy tried to figure out how it works and how i can get it for well over 3 years with the conclusion that i can't just try harder to get it. (once again i am reminded that sanctification is by grace alone, freely given, undeserved) there have been short periods where i've tasted it ... and yesterday and today have been one of those beautiful periods. and these short times in the midst of a not-so-easy time in life reminds me that God's grace is much more beautiful then i ever knew and the pain is worth it. the pain it takes to transform me into the daughter of christ that i am. the pain it takes to rip idols and sins from my life. the pain of entering into a new stage of life and leaving behind another. the pain of relationships. the pain of waiting 2 months of being unemployed. the pain of living in a fallen world and being a sinner myself.

deep longings of my soul ....
for God to open my lips to praise Him once again
to love deep thought provoking conversations
to wake up in the morning and have God be the first thing on my mind because He truly is the lover of my soul
to be excited over things my friends are excited about
to be involved in a community pursuing hard after christ
to have great joy in knowing God which glorifies Him
to love and have passion
to find great delight in digging the word as i used to
to (even as i am honest about my current feelings) have my emotions be transformed to align with the emotions of jesus and the people of the psalms and the rest of the bible
to no longer battle with depression (how long oh Lord?)... and yet praise Him even if it lasts the rest of my life

the fact i don't have these things isn't fun ...but the reason i have joy is that i know that these deep longings are only produced from a transformed heart. and a transformed heart is only produced by God himself ... and therfore God has begun a work in me and has promised to continue.

i can't make myself have joy (or any longing of my heart either) ... no matter how badly i want it. but following Christ has to be less about me trying harder and more about me surrendering to God. less about me and more about Him. less about me earning love and rigtheousness and more about His mercy and grace and love and the cross-a demonstration of His love and the only way for sinners to have righteousness.

all glory and praise to my lord and savior... who saved me and continues to save me daily