poverty

so i took a walk ... i love walks but find myself taking more walks than normal because i don't really know what to do with myself in omaha yet. but as i was walking around my neighborhood and up to the ymca i walk by the south omaha projects which is low income housing. pretty much my whole neighborhood screams low income. there's a huge diversity of people (if i look deep down i don't even like diversity ... i like to be with things that are familiar and comfortable)... i don't even know where they're all from. while walking i was thinking about how badly i want to fit. fit in omaha, fit at my job, fit in my neighborhood, fit at my church, etc. it made me think ... do i want to fit because it will be more comfortable for me? or do i want to fit because it to build relationships and love these people? and oh how i just long to be somewhere more comfortable for me. i'm even running away to my home (for only part of the weekend :)) to be in a more comfortable place. i go to work at a place called mosaic community development. ... they work with community development in a christian, love jesus, kinda way. but really i have no idea what that really means. as i was walking my natural reaction was "oh i should pray" ... so i was like God i pray for these people. i pray that ... ya totally speechless. like i don't even know what to pray. i believe that our prayers reflect our theology. i don't know if its possible that i have no theology on the issues i am faced with in a city and at MCD, but i sure feel like i have little to say about these complex and real issues. so many college students label themselves "poor college students" ... if i have ever claimed that label i was so wrong. it's just no comparision. even now as an americorps vista earning little over the poverty threshold...i am still rich. i don't have generations and generations of history living in poverty. i have a college education and could get a ton of different jobs if i wanted. the only reason i'm not making a lot of money now is because i choose it. i picked the job. i knew it was coming ... and in reality my parents still pay for my phone and some gas and some food and clothes, etc. spoiled brat or blessed i'm not sure. what an interesting year this will be ... there is room for great growth! for God to open my eyes and change my heart. i have little to teach and much to learn here.