what does it look like to be a Christ follower today?

so as i fumble around in this new stage of life i often wonder what in the world it's supposed to look like to be a gospel centered christian in ames, ia in 2009 working at isu. ever since a little over a year ago i feel like everything in my heart and head was ripped out and thrown into a game of 52 card pick up... leaving me confused as i pick up the pieces and sort through everything i have known and believed for so long...somethings i learned from the inside out (by God's transformational grace) and others from the outside in (by trying really hard to clean myself of sin from the outside-ps doesn't work).

another lesson from a bob thune sermon ... not like he's God, but God speaks to me through him in a cool way ... convicting and yet encouraging. it was a sermon that asked the question what went wrong with christianity? instead of living like a real biblical follower of Christ ... christians have tried to christanize this culture. make them have good morals or something. and what do we do? we either slip into a christian bubble with our christian music and movies and friends ... or we hang out and live life so no one can see there is a difference between someone of the world or someone belonging to the kingdom of God. what happened?? somewhere along the line we all forgot the gospel... the repentance from sin that's needed and the power He gives to enable us to change.

what do i need to repent of? what do i need power to change?

how can i be distinct, but not disconnected?

it's interesting to think about this stuff now ... i think God's been trying to teach me this and He put it into words tonight as i ran and listened to a sermon. the past few weeks i have been so conflicted about what i'm doing in a job that seems to have little eternal significance? how can this job seem to fit so well? how can it be so clear that this job was given to be by God? how is it possible that God would want me here researching about baby pigs instead of loving and serving homeless people in downtown omaha? and it just became a tiny bit clearer that i need a little help getting out of a christian bubble ... because i can't seem to get myself out of it alone ... and that's not the way it's intended to be. oh the grace and mercy of God is so sweet and gospel so beautiful!