another big decision

so it's official. i decided to switch churches. i can't decide if it was as hard of a decision as quitting my job in omaha and moving back to ames or not, but it sure makes it to the top of the list of hard decisions in my life. and perhaps making the decision won't be as hard as living with the decision that i made in the months to come... but i made it and that's that. i never wanted to be a statistic of those churches that gain new members simply by having people move back and forth between churches instead of having new people come to know and love Jesus, but i guess that statistic is deeper than i once thought. there's a why behind each of those people perhaps. the fear is still i don't really know if it will be better in this church than in the last. but i do know that something's gotta change. i just can't do it anymore. after being involved in this church for most of 5 years and wrestling with it for 2 perhaps enough is enough. God used it to teach me a lot over the years ... it gave me a solid foundation of the theology of the gospel and the biblical basis for mission it connected me with stellar people that i am so grateful for still am to this day!! it challenged me to be baptized sent me overseas gave me opportunities to lead bible studies of college gals there are many reasons to leave ... and perhaps many to stay. so i'm in need of prayer. more so now than perhaps ever before (or at least i am realizing my need now more than ever before). ask questions if you like... there's been lots of tears shed and wrestling with thoughts and emotions for what seems like a very long time.