they're not perfect, but my heart is still involved

after a lot of thought and prayer i have decided to go back to cornerstone church. as i think about some of the reasons for leaving cornerstone in the first place 6 or so months ago i still think i will wrestle with some of them, but as i jumped into harvest i was challenged with truth that since we live in a fallen world there will be no perfect church... no matter how high my expectations are. this truth makes it hard for me not to be committed to the church that has invested in me for 5 years and where i have grown to be more attached than i once thought. where there was once bitterness and anger, there is now a longing to be involved and be praying for them and the leadership there. just because something is hard shouldn't mean i should just ditch it. i remember blogging about how i didn't want to be one of those stats of churches gaining numbers simply because people who already go to church change churches. i remember thinking that each one of those stats has a person behind it, a face, a story ... and this is mine. maybe there are times to leave, but there are times to stay as well. in both churches there are good and bad things ... the result of a place that loves Jesus, but is full of sinners. so why move from one dysfunctional family to the next? that is what i've been wrestling with and what has brought me to the decision to go back to cornerstone. part of me regrets the decision i made to leave cornerstone and go to harvest, but without jumping in with both feet to a different church how was i to learn valuable lessons of commitment and that there's no perfect church and that jumping around seeking satisfaction instead of digging deep in the problem and being part of the solution perhaps isn't the best solution? maybe it's less about finding the perfect church and more about jumping in and being the church. so if in the future while i'm still in ames i start thinking about leaving cornerstone ... you should call me up and make me sit down and think long and hard about it. not because they have it all together, but because they're my family ... and jesus is present there. if He has grace for them, how can i not?