lent

it's interesting when lent rolls around. growing up we had lenten suppers and services ... but we weren't those people who gave up candy or pop or anything for lent. but when i came to college at first cornerstone didn't even mention lent and then easter came without thought and meditation. the day came and went and my heart wasn't super affected. bummer. recently they started talking about lent a bit more and how it's good to give something up that gets in the way of knowing God more. not getting rid of eating dessert or drinking pop because that's a good goal and perhaps i should eat less sugar or intake less caffeine anyway in order to loose weight or be less dependent on caffeine ... but to give up something and replace it with something that brings me closer to the one true God who gave up his son in order for me to live the life i was intended.

so a couple years ago i gave up watching movies for lent ... and i come around to this year ... unfortunately i have the same problem i had a couple years ago. movies are my default. i come home and if i have nothing to do i watch a movie. cable is crazy .... i rarely watched tv until my sr. year of college ... and tv isn't all bad. but sometimes i just waste time in front of the tv watching things that aren't encouraging me to think about things that are good and right and true and helpful. last weekend at the saturday night service at cornerstone we talked about the surpassing worth of knowing Christ and that Paul counted all things loss compared to knowing Christ Jesus. if that is true (and it's in the bible so you know ... ) then it makes the decision quite easy to give up movies until easter ... it is not a sacrifice then because knowing Christ is so much better than anything else.

interesting though ... i still didn't make the final decision until today. i haven't watched any movies since ash wednesday (leaving my options open) but i didn't commit. and why? if it's so much BETTER for me to just cut off one of the main things that distracts me from God in this season of my life why would it be hard to make the commitment? and then my ugly heart comes out ... i would give up movies for God, but would i give up movies knowing that i will have to explain why i am giving up movies? that's the kicker ... am i ashamed of letting it be known that i am actually seeking to know God? that knowing him is important enough to give up something that is fun but really hasn't been that beneficial when i look back over the past few years? am i concerned that people will get the wrong message and i'm just doing this out of legalism ... just trying to be a better christian or something? and perhaps people will always misunderstand, but God knows my heart and i don't have to be ashamed to be honest when answering questions.

glimpse into my heart that needs God to continue to make it new .... crazy that i would give something up for God but hide that from the world. not like i need to proclaim it from the mountain tops or anything, but what a bummer to be tempted to lie about it ... for what? approval? comfort? .... lame

so it's official ... i am excited to give up watching movies until Easter in anticipation that God will use those extra hours in my week to know and love God more! (and when i fail, which i will, He is there ready to pour the grace of His gospel on me).

happy lent my friends! happy lent!